so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
