She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
