The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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