Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
