just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Randomize
