ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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