gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
