dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
