note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
