In the future we'll all be gay
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
