So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She swung at the pinata with crutches
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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