We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
