garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
