my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
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