Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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