He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
