so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He felt like a one man threesome
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
