Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
