He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
