Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
