oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
