you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
