There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
