Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I need to calm my uterus...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
