well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
