oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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