She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
