they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
