new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
