I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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