I love black thongs
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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