I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
