Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
