if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
