one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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