She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
