3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I got inside last night via doggy door
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
