We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
