You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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