Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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