if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
