What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
