My friends, they love my intelligence
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
