Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
