Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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