If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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