you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
