Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
