The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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