wrigley field is MILF paradise
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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