can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
