It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
