I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
